Payed our respects to Belle's grandmother after church today. With Liling's best interests at heart :D I shall not post her **unglam pix of the day!!**
Met up with Delia afterwards to see...
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[With everything that happened this past year, with all the experiences New York City unfolds to a stubbornly naive and sheltered young person, it amazes me to think that my favourite memories are just lying in a familiar top bunk listening to Rich's jazz, taking 10 minute naps or watching the naked lady change her outfit dozens of times. I guess that's why I wanted to get you this cd - I'd hate to think I no longer share these memories with you. You'll probably hate me for being so sappy, so effusive, and redundant; I know I do. Still I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate having known you and hopefully knowing you still. I was not always everything I would've wanted to be around you and at times I took advantage of you kindness and patience. After all the times I've asked you for help or forgiveness I'm surprised you still speak to me. But, then I'm not that shocked because that's how amazing you are. I have never known someone with the immense and undiscriminating consideration and intelligence you exhibit in your personal and intellectual endeavors. I hope you will find as much happiness for yourself as you bring to all the people in your life. It would be selfish of me to ask you to keep in touch, but if it's ever convenient for you to call on me, please don't hesitate. You will never need me because you will always have many friends who admire and are grateful to you and would be honoured to help out with anything, but please, never discount me from this number. So many times I've regretted my utter stupidity around you, but the span of our history has taught me so much that I don't want to forget anything that happened. By the way, I apologize if this note doesn't make any sense or if it has turned into a pathetic yearbook message. All I really wanted to say was thank you. You will always be such an important part of my life and one I will always think of fondly. I can't think of any way to wrap this up profoundly and effectively, so imagine that I'm saying this slowly, with overemphasis to disguise its triteness: I will never forget how wonderful you are.] ]
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[The matchbox reminds me of the passionate hugs of our first years, when she used to like folding in my arms and the closeness between us still made her happy. .... 'Coldness means an end to every relationship. If you want to kill something, just stay cold. As soon as you freeze your feelings, thoughts and acts relationship becomes impossible.' ... Perhaps some day I will achieve what she used to say: "to love somebody without being with him or her".] ]
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[You talked to me of love, gave me small gifts every day; this is just one of them. The key to the heart. You turned my head, you just did not want to sleep with me. I realized how much you loved me only after you died of AIDS.] ]
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All these just furthermore emphasizes how fragile all relationships are; vaporizes with time, leaving one empty, shocked, and unprepared. Is it just all a transition, this cycle of leaving one to find another...?
But yet I am thankful for many people, thankful they are still in my life :)
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** update later **
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