Friday, March 2
{ 11:51 PM }
Warning: Don't read this if you hate emo freaks.
How to save a life, can you teach me?
Beauty and perfection; shells that come crashing down. Cry, cry, cry. You know nobody cares, ever will care. You know, so why do you bother? What do you want? Accomplishments; top grades, nice position. What do you want? What do you need? "She smiles alot, a hell lot. She's always happy and bubbly'', they say. What are you like? Is this a masquerade, a lie to you that's everything's fine? Is this a mask, and the layers will they come peeling off? Why do you try to create something, then destroy it when you're displeased. Charmaine, who are you? Who are you?
damn it. P e r f e c t i o n.
we strive towards perfection. It's tiring, weary, hard. I'd learnt, flaws are okay, it's part of us. It's alright to be sad. We are made to love, but with love comes hate. With hate, comes love. With smiles, come tears. With tears, come smiles. I don't want to be like an automaton or a clone. Clones are so.. perfect and flawless in their designing. But they live in a cage, a silk cage, but nonetheless a cage still. Their lives are controlled by a master, the one who creates them for a purpose. A man.
I love my creator, God.
G r e y.
We aren't black or white, but shades of grey. No one, as in no one, is either really bad or really good. Everyone has reasons for doing something, killing someone does not make you entirely bad.
B r e a k.
Hold on, even when life fails. A big bright sunshine will emerge soon in the stormiest of all weathers. I'm broken, bitterly-sweet broken. Discouragement, persecutions; ''when we are weak, then we are strong'', God delights in our weaknesses. but my heart is heavy, even a seemingly happy day is affected by my heavy heart. I don't know what is a heavy heart, or why I am using it, but I just feel weighed down. A sinking feeling, like I'm drowning but not resisting.
I'm sorry, I know I have been crapping a hell lot today compared to normal '' charmaine posts''. I don't know what I'm blabbering about either, I just felt like typing all those. I know what I say contradicts, does not fit or whatever. But you don't have to decipher what I wrote.
I may appear sad in this post, but I'm not sad, really (:
I just felt like writing what I wrote.
I think I'm happy(: why shouldn't I be?
