Saturday, July 8
{ 10:15 PM }
Is it just me? 'Cause I'm this close to shouting out all the vulgarities.
WHY?
Hey dudes, look here.
I'm sick of hypocrites pretending to be mister and miss nice.
I'm sick of being used and treated like filthy dirt. You know what, maybe dirt gets treated better.
I'm sick of people telling me what the heck they think I should do about my life and offering me advice like they-know-everything-that-happens-around-me and what-im -thinking-in-my-mind-every-single-momment. Dudes, I have tolerated your shit long enough and I don't see a single need to refrain.
I'm irritated by those guys who keep saying the word ''love'' to me. Stop pestering and forcing me to like you. It's damn irritating 'cause not only have you spoiled our friendship, you make me disgusted by your actions. Stop saying that I'm your stead 'cause it's more like you're my stalker.
I'm just sick and tired that there are so many stereotypes. I'm just soooooooo sick that everyone is trying to be popular and dissing their friends.
I'm sick of all those cowards out there who type hate messages using ''anoymous'' as their name.
I'm even more sick of idiots who use my name without thinking twice about the shit they're doing. Stop misusing my name to cover up for your dirty mistakes. Don't say ''charmaine said'' this and that and blahlalala.
I'm disgusted by those ''friends'' who backstabs me.
Also, stop acting you're sooooo smart.
I'm pissed by those people who tell me every single detail of their oh-so-fab life and keeeeep repeating them to my poor ears. And yet, I just sit there and say, "Oh, really? that's nice"
I'm sick of putting up this mask.
I'm tired of people questioning my intentions. Is my life your life?!
I hate those jerks who TRY flattering me with their sugared commentes. I;m telling you, I have more dignity and pride to even contain them.
I just want a break from a game called life.
I don't know why I kept quiet for so long pretending that life is beautiful. I mean yes, I know I'm in a super bad mood now. I just had this sudden urge to blog after what someone said that made me pissed.
I may be this girl you know who have this reputation for smiling but I'm telling you honestly, inside I'm screaming out loud for help. It's a silent deafening scream. My silent killer.
And yet again, I ask myself why I do this pretence?
The reason is simple: I do not want arguments. And you may ask again, why did I even blog this?
The reason is simple: Because I need something to voice my feelings out to. Because my lone body cant contain any more dirt!
I was bleeding inside,
Did you care?
I was crying outside,
Were you there?
I was moaning,
Did you hear?
Don't tell me you understand,
Don't tell me you care,
If you did,
You would had been there.
I do not want you to understand,
I do not want you to care,
I never wanted you there in the first place.
Stranger,
I know you're dead.
But you never failed haunting my memory.
I know today isn't exactly a good day to whine.
But still...
You read it.
thankyou.
PS: Like there is an angel in each of us, I must say a devil exists in us too.
